If you’re just starting out in the online dating world, it can be daunting, especially when you’re getting ready to send that first online dating message. There are plenty of things to say — And not to say.
But before you send a message, you need to make sure you’ve filled out your profile and have good online dating photos. After you’ve taken some time out to write a little bit about yourself and found some excellent potentials— You’re ready to send your first message online.
Even if you’re biting your nails nervously wondering what to say— Never fear! There are some things you can do to make your message stand out, so your match actually messages you back.
When you’re writing online dating messages that work you want to say “Hi,” well, sort of. But not really. “Hi” might get you some responses, but do you know how many “Hi” messages are hitting people’s inboxes every day?
You need some kind of opener to get started. Since you’re checking out the Bonfire dating app blog, you might want to start with a “Howdy!”
When you want to show someone, you like them in your online message, you don’t want it to be the same cow in the field everyone else has seen. You want to be the orange cow or the hot pink cow that will surprise and delight the person you’re messaging.
Be different. Being boring is an attraction killer for just about anyone.
So, spice up your greeting to the potential outdoor-loving possible love of your life!
Some opening lines you come up with might be cheesy, and that’s totally OK. If you put something funny, make sure you put the appropriate emoji in your message, so they know you’re being funny and just making their day.
In your online messages being funny and entertaining will get you everywhere— Even on the first message to that hottie, you’re interested in getting to know more about.
Another tactic you can use in your online dating profile is to actually look at their pictures and more importantly— Read their bio, so you know something about them.
Let’s start with commenting on their photos first (In case they don’t have anything else in their profile).
So if you see that hottie wearing a cowboy hat in their photo— There are a few things you can do.
Above are some ideas you can pick and choose to start up your creative juices flowing before you send your message to your match. Pick one or more of the methods listed to help you tie your thoughts into a word that isn’t boring.
Of he is wearing a hat in one of his online dating pics. You can use these or tweak them to add a bit of your character to the message.
Let’s say David has a picture of himself singing in his band or playing a show.
Howdy David, I’ve always wanted to be a groupie, but I’ve never met someone in a band I actually wanted to achieve before! (Flirty, funny)
I like the way you hold the mic (Sexy, Innuendo)
Do you take special requests? I know what song I would ask you to sing. (Mystery, flirty)
It’s such a turn on to see a man doing something that he loves. (Complimentary, sexy)
In 5th grade I took piano lessons— Maybe we could start a band! (Funny)
When I hear a good singer, my heart just melts for some reason (Sweet)
Getting the picture of sending a message just based on a picture? You can make it really fun, funny, sexy and flirty. Ho-hum notes are a dime a dozen. And if there is someone you’re interested in they could be getting dozens, if not hundreds of messages.
Let’s say a guy you like gets 20 messages in his inbox in a week, and most of them say,
“Hi.” That’s it.
Then he gets your message that you took time to write and make smart.
Do you think you will stand out from the 19 other women who were dull?
The creative and playful woman will stand out from the same old’ boring messages that most people are regularly sending.
Our example will be Matt.
So, I’m not really good at talking about myself. I’m a simple kind of man. I would say that I’m a loving and caring man who wants to settle for the best. I need an honest and faithful person. I’m laid back and love to spend time with my family and friends.
So, I’m not really good at talking about myself—
He might be new to online dating or just doesn’t know how to say what he is looking for. But then again, he might not know what it is that he’s looking for— Until he finds it, I mean her.
I’m a simple kind of man—
He might like Lynard Skynard. Or it could mean that he loves the simple things in life. Cooking dinner at home, looking at the stars at night and hanging out near a stream while he fishes.
Matt is probably the kind of guy that would pull over and help someone on the side of the road that has a tire or a broken down car. If he sees a kitten in the ditch, he might even adopt a cat (even if he doesn’t like cats, but this man is kind, so he wants to do the right thing).
He also wants a good woman, a woman like you. Matt wants to be with a woman that is low drama, and is secure with herself and takes care of herself. This kind of guy wants to be with a woman who doesn’t have a life full of drama. Most men hate emotional excessiveness. (There are things you can do to get things across to a man without being dramatic).
This could be that faith is essential to him, or it could mean that someone he loved cheated on him and he needs a woman who is honest and faithful to her man. Or it could mean both!
I’m laid back and love to spend time with my family and friends.
He likes to hang out at Christmas dinner with his family, and drink a few beers with his friends on the weekends. This guy loves the excellent company of his buddies and his brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, and kids.
He sounds like a family man and would want his woman to be a part of this area of his world. Matt would also want to be part of your family (as long as they’re not too crazy, haha!).
Hey Matt! You sound like a great guy. I’m curious what “settle for the best” means? What kind of girl are you looking for? (Sweet)
I know a secret spot in the woods I only share with people I really like. There could even be edible mushrooms growing there! (He’s on a farmer’s dating website— I’m guessing most guys on here like the outdoors!). (Intrigue)
You said faithful in your profile do you mean faithful in relationships or going to church? I sing in my church’s choir every week. Do you like good music? (Sweet, Straight talk)These are just a few ideas as to get you started on sending a great message to a man you think seems like a good guy. Dating is so much fun when you think about the possibilities that could happen. According to Credit Donkey online matches last longer than people who meet in real life. Just imagine what your life will be like when you meet the man of your dreams and fall in love!