Dating Country Guys — The Dos & Don’ts of Finding Down-Home Love

05 September

Dating country guys isn’t just about cowboy boots, big whiskey hats, big trucks and huggin’.  But that is part of the picture — OK, maybe a lot of it!

When you’re dating a country guy a farmer or an avid hunter or outdoors man, there are some things you need to understand about them, and it’s pretty simple.

Farmers are real hard-working men. This is why you’re attracted to them in the first place. They do manly things like mow hayfields, drink beer and don’t always express their feelings.

And this can work to your benefit.

His manliness is what attracts you to him in the beginning. He’s a man, let him be one.

A man is nothing like a woman. He doesn’t have soft hands, doesn’t want to sip champagne, or go to a baby shower.

When you are dating country guys or trying to —  If you decide to change him, he’ll dig his boots into the dirt or drive off into the sunset in his beat-up farm-use-only truck.

So what’s a country-loving woman got to do to keep a good country man around?

You need to put yourself his farmer man boots.

Men might not admit they want a deep love, but most guys do — And many of them are shaking in their muddy shoes just thinking about it.

If you’re dating a man who has been around the block and has ever had his heart broken — Well, he doesn’t want it to get broken again — Because it hurts like hell.

Many men (and women) after going through heartbreak hit the bottle, overeat overwork, or can’t get out of bed. Heartbreak can crush a good man.

The depression of heartbreak seems like it’s too much to take for a lot of men — But once you go through it — You will survive — Even through the painful emotional scars.

You understand heartbreak, right? You’ve probably been through plenty of it.

So have men — They just don’t talk about it as much as most women. Many men guard their hearts, but you can use some country music lines to get a better understanding of men and how to make them fall in love with you.

Take some advice from Sam Hunt’s song to help you connect with one lonely farmer — Deeply.

“Take Your Time.”
I don’t wanna steal your freedom.
I don’t wanna change your mind.
I don’t have to make you love me.
I just wanna take your time.

Using this love ballad will help give you a better understanding of how to date a farmer.

Let’s break this down from the title.

Listen to Sam and “Take your time” when you want a boyfriend farmer.

What’s the rush? No need to rush love because men love anticipation— It turns them on!

Farmers and outdoor men are manly and don’t like pressure from a woman. Let him take his time. You don’t have to have a relationship, like yesterday. Let it progress slowly and let him want to chase you.

Do your part in the relationship timeline and let him do his part.

He can be in charge of the “relationship status” timeline, and you get to be in charge of the “sex” timeline.

If you want a real-committed relationship from a countryman, wait until he’s committed to having sex.

It might sound old-school, but if he’s a keeper and wants to keep you— He’ll stick around.

If he is a good man who doesn’t just want sex— He’ll wait.

He’ll wait a very long time if he likes you and is considering a committed relationship with you.

So don’t worry about losing him if you wait too long. Because if he leaves after a couple of weeks— You’ll know he was one of those bad country “boys” who just wants some loving between the sheets with you and nothing more.

I want to touch on the next line from that ties right into dating a countryman.“I don’t wanna steal your freedom.”

Men crave freedom— So when a country man needs space— Give it to him.

Dating country guys is like dating any kind of masculine man. They crave alone time.

When you’re dating a farmer or any kind of man for that reason, you might wonder why do men need so much space?

They need time to think (especially after an argument).

Why do men need space after an argument?

When men have time to get into their own time and space— They come back better.

What can you do when you’re dating a farmer that is masculine, and he needs time away from you?

Be patient and take care of yourself in the meantime!

I also want to cover what NOT to do when a country man asks for time.

Don’t pound him with questions like:

  • Do you not love me anymore?
  • Is our relationship OK?
  • Why do you need space?
  • Is it something I did?
  • Let’s talk about it and work it out!
  • What can I do to make it better?

When a man needs space about a conflict, he wants to reflect on what to say and how to “figure things out.”

Instead of thinking about an issue and bombarding him out of the blue with a question you’ve been thinking about for days—

Don’t freak out when a man asks for space. Instead set an appointment with your country guy.

Here’s a script you can use to do this.

There are a few guidelines you need to use when dating a farmer and resolving the conflict.

  • Keep calm.
  • Get to the point of the problem quickly (Don’t go into in-depth emotional details).
  • Ask him for his opinion.
  • Let him set a time to talk about it.

Here’s a sample script you can use to talk to your county man when he needs space.

“I really like spending time with you, but I’m not sure what to do about [insert the problem you want to address here}. I wanted to get your thoughts on this. When is a good time for you to talk about it?”

This will give the guy mental time to prepare. He is setting the timeline, so the pressure is off, and he will have time to come up with a solution.

While you’re waiting for him to come out of his cave, it may be hard. So, take a bath, ride go horseback riding, or call your girlfriends to vent. Do things that make you feel good in the meantime.

So let’s move onto the next line of Sam’s song: I don’t wanna change your mind.

This is what a man wants to hear— You not trying to change him. That’s his job.

A masculine man doesn’t want you to change his mind.

He wants to be allowed to make up his own mind and not be told what to do.

This is a masculine trait. Making decisions for himself— Allow him to be a man and not a boy who needs to be told what to do.

When a man is bossed around by a  woman, and he does what she wants him to do— It will emasculate him and make you less attracted to him anyway. Doormat behavior or a man is so unsexy.

The next line I want to share with you is “I don’t have to make you love me.”

You can never make anyone love you— But you can inspire them to like you and they may love you too.

Force doesn’t work when it comes to love— Especially with a masculine countryman.

A real country man wants to make his own choices when it comes to love and lots of other things— So let him be the man and make his own decisions.

When you let a man decide instead of trying to make him love you (which never works), you may get what you want for a little while— Until he becomes bitter.

Then your relationship ultimatum will go burning down in flames. You like to make your own decisions and be your own boss— Let him have the same respect.

“I just wanna take your time” is the next line we can go over.

When it comes to country people dating— Let him pursue you— Don’t do the pursuing.

This line ties in with the last line of dating a countryman. He wants to decide to spend time with you.

This is what you want. You want him to miss you, text you, call you and ask you out on dates. He gets to be manly and make some of his own decisions.

When you fit a man into your life— He will respect you because he is pursuing you to spend his time with you— Instead of the other way around.

Using the letting-him-pursue you technique while dating works. Whether you're doing a farmers only search and want to connect with farmers looking for love—

When you let a man do the heavy lifting it will make him feel more like a man.

He can certainly pick up a haybale. Let him make dinner reservations and pick you up for a date that he plans.

When you want to meet single farmers, you need to be on a dating app for farmers— So you can weed out the city folk so you don’t waste your time.

Learn how to speak quiet farmer speak.

Dating a countryman has many perks, and he will perk up when he meets the farmer woman of his dreams who “gets” him.

When you learn a few simple tricks of country people dating— You'll have your pick of the litter because you are one of the rare nellies that understand how to attract and keep a good country only dating guy around the farm and in your life.

According to the Journal of Consumer Culture— Data from interviews with American men suggest that men that have a “man cave” lets them reflect on life goals and relax.

If a man has time to reflect on his life and not feel pressured— He will have time to think about his life goals (which could include you!).

We want to leave you with a few more simple tips to keep your communication in a way to keep the man you’re interested in on your date ranch.

Keep conversations light and playful.

Talk about a TV show you both enjoy or ask him about his big manly tractor. These kinds of conversations are likely to improve your connection with a man more than continue discussing your feelings or having “the talk.”

According to John Gottman, details of regular life are part of a couple’s interactions have a more significant impact on their relationship than heavy conversations.

Find common ground between you and your man.

When you have similar things you can discuss with your potential mate or your farmer boyfriend, it will bring you closer together. Having things in common will build a connection between the two of you.

And one of the most important things to consider when dating a farmer and talk is to listen when he talks.

The words “I understand,” a head nod or a pure Mmm hmm... .will make a man feel understood. Active listening is one of the most important things for a masculine man to feel like you get him.

When the rare gem of a woman gets a man— it’s much easier to keep him around.

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Dina Colada
Dating Expert

Dina Colada is dating coach who has appeared on MSN, YourTango and Women’s Health. She helps singles date the smart way. Get her free love-attracting book and audio tracks at DinaColada.com

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