Date Tips From Bonfire — Why Meeting Farmers Online Is Better Than IRL

05 November

At Bonfire dating, we want to share the best date tips for country-loving’ people. We know it’s challenging living the farm life and looking for fun and romance at the same time. Farmers are busy and don’t have much time to read about dating advice. So, we’re going to keep it simple for you. If you’ve got to get out to feed the chickens or mow the grass you can even scan this dating article for the subheads and get the gist. We want to give you the best online dating tips for women and dating advice for men along with helpful resources.

First, I’m going to start with why it’s a great idea to get online and use these date tips to find dates and even love

I believe online dating is better than meeting in real life. Wanna know why? Online dating works, or people wouldn’t do it.

At the Pew Research Center, it was discovered that online dating has lost much of the stigma it once had

In 2005 things were much different. When the dating habits of singles were studied, people saw online dating as a low-brow way to date. In 2015 more than half of the US population knows a friend or family member that’s online dating. Current attitudes toward online dating are becoming more favorable. In 2005 29 percent of people saw online dating as “desperate.”

In 2015 that number dropped to 23 percent. I have a feeling today it is even lower.

Online dating users are growing daily

Online dating site users increased in the young adult population by almost triple between 2013 until 2015. Not only are the younger people of online dating users growing— So is just about every age group. The 45-54-year-old online dating stats jumped from 8 percent to 13 percent. The numbers keep growing.

The same research center did another study that stated that 66 percent of internet dating users have dated someone they met online. That’s well over 50 percent! It’s much better odds than a coin toss.

According to Statistic Brain said 20 percent of relationships started online. If you’re looking for something committed, expanding your search to online will increase your odds of finding something serious.

Ratio of Women to Men of Online Dating users

Online dating users have almost equal footing in the number of users they can match with

The average ratio of men to women is 52.4% guys to 47.6% women

That’s pretty darn balanced. Online dating gives men and women an almost equal opportunity when it comes to making a match. However, many users give up after 90 days. You might say it doesn’t work, but the statistics show that it does.

Stick it out and you will see results if you follow good advice.

Another benefit of online dating is that most people are single

There’s not an awkward conversation of someone IRL that you’re attracted to— and you come to find out their married. Even if someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend, you might have given them an ego boost, but when it comes to online, you’re more than likely to meet someone that is single already.

Meeting someone you know is single makes your dating life easier

There are no guarantees that a person isn’t single, but the odds are indeed in your favor. And to clarify things, get to know them a little bit first as well. You can have a conversation about it too when you learn more about them.

You don’t need to wonder about their relationship status because it’s already listed in their online dating profile. There are a lot of singles online vying for the attention of other singles, so make sure your profile stands out.

Especially if you’re just getting started my dating advice to you is read other users online dating profiles.

Read about the users you like. See if you have any common ground first

More date advice is to have good photos on your profile.

Sure, some people have emotionally engaging photos with their hobbies, but other’s don’t. So many people I see online (especially men!) don’t know what kinds of good images to post. This is something that is easy to learn. Almost everyone or at least someone you know has a pretty decent camera on their phone.

Do what you love and get some pics of you living with passion.

Shy People

On another note, online dating is great for busy people

I know you’re busy. If you’re running a farm or even have a homestead with a couple of chickens and goats, it takes a lot of time just to mow the yard and feed the animals. While you’re out riding your tractor or walking to the barn, I bet you have enough time to look online for some matches.

Can you walk and chew gum? If your answer is yes— you’ve got the skills to walk and open your phone. You’re checking the weather report every day too, right? How much more time will it take you to take a peek at a farmer dating app where you could find the love of your life? You may be piled with work, but if love is essential to you-you can make the time.

The only gal or guy you’re going to meet today is the cow or stallion in the barn. What have you got to lose by getting online to find that single farmer?

Finding farmers online, or people who love farmers is even good for shy people

Having the screen between the two of you can give you confidence. In my personal experience, some men will talk to me online who wouldn’t approach me in real life. How do I know this? Because I’ve seen these men in public and they get scared!

Get your brave on!

When you’re online, it gives you the opportunity to send messages, reread them, and even spellcheck them. Please do this! You don’t have to have perfect grammar, but you want to look like you made it past first grade don’t ya?

Before you send any messages via instant message or through text, read it at least three times. Even read it out loud to make sure it sounds like you would talk. Keep things light, playful and conversational. When you’re chatting— remember to ask your potential date a question.

Keeping the conversation is essential when you're getting to know a new match. I’ve noticed when people don’t ask each other questions, the convo just starts to fade away. If you want actually to know someone, ask them about themselves.

Another good date tip is to extend your search to outside of a 10-mile radius

Decide how far is too far. Some people are OK with an hour drive for a date. But your soul mate might not live at the neighboring farm. You might need to get someone on the phone or skype first before you have the chance to meet. That’s OK. If it’s meant to be— you’ll work out a meetup.

Distance can’t stop love if you’re ready for it. Wouldn’t it be worth it to drive a little more than you expected to find someone you really click with? Why yes. Yes, it would be worth it!

Another dating tip is to be smart about online dating

Online dating is a pretty safe way to meet new people. But don’t be stupid. Don’t meet someone that gives you weird vibes your home address before you meet. Make sure you feel comfortable with how things progress. If someone is pushing for physical connection before you’re ready— Don’t say yes because you don’t want any conflict.

When you’re online dating, it’s a great way to get clear with your boundaries

It’s easier to say yes or no to someone you’re not even interested in.

Use online dating like a coffee filter, (this is one of my favorite date tips ever)!

When you pour your matches into your filter— you can look for things you have in common with them. This gives you the best opportunity to get clear on what it is you’re looking for. Don’t be afraid to experiment and go out with several people, even in the same week or day if you’re busy.

Every new person you meet will give you crystal clear clarity. Sorting through the people, you can filter out the characteristics you’re looking for while tossing out the traits and people that aren’t a good match. After all, coffee beans make great good coffee, but you don’t want all the grounds in the bottom of your morning joe.

Take out the stuff you don’t like and keep the things you do like— this is for men and your coffee.

My last date tip is to make a couple of lists— Your besties list and your beasties list.

We’re going to start with the beasties list first and get that out of the way.

Let’s say your date was a cheapskate and only tipped the waitress 10 percent. Maybe you’ve been a waitress or a bartender, and you need a partner that takes care of people in the service industry. Or if your date smokes and it grosses you out, put smoking on your beasties list.

Now for the last and most useful date tips— we’re onto the besties list!

Take the time to appreciate the things you do like in a match even if doesn’t work out. Write em’ all down. Focus on the things you do like.

If your date was a good tipper, put that on the list of traits you want. If your date wasn’t attractive to you but was a good conversationalist, put good communicator on your list.  If your date was terrible in every way— pick out one thing about them for you to appreciate.

Everyone on the planet has at least one thing that’s good about them. It could be a beautiful smile, a kind demeanor, be funny or have interesting eyes. Take the positive aspects and focus on those.

Keep your perfect partner traits at the forefront. Be hopeful and expect the unexpected. Because if you are wanting to date a country person, it’s inevitable. You might as well enjoy the wild ride!

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Dina Colada
Dating Expert

Dina Colada is dating coach who has appeared on MSN, YourTango and Women’s Health. She helps singles date the smart way. Get her free love-attracting book and audio tracks at DinaColada.com

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